Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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