im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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