He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize