He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
