He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
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