I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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