roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
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