Plan B is the new Plan A
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
its not stalking. its research.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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