am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
