Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
