Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize