He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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