it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
