Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
