I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize