? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
