Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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