My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
