I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
