marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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