and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
