Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he fucked my hip out of place.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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