Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
