Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
