i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
