Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
