I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize