I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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