when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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