none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
