that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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