That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
sarcasm needs its own font
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
