we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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