Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
