Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
