If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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