and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
