it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
