I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
