Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize