I hate your face
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
