i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
My cat gives me a boner
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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