ugly people sure do ruin things
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize