I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
