I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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