Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
