dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize