my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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