I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
