chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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