it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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