i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
