I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
