it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
