He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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