Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
