saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
