Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
