Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
