no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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